Successful Organizations Are Based on Strong Relationships

When it comes to the topic of successful leadership, the easiest thing to do is to make things complicated.

Myriad books, courses, articles and consultants focus on the topic. And the conversation has been going on for a very, very long time. In ancient China, a sage offered this leadership advice: “Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow.”

But it might be a simple Depression-era salesman who has had the most impact on creating successful leaders in business, government and in life. He knew that success with teams is founded on a very simple concept: building rewarding relationships with individuals.

In 1936 Dale Carnegie published his now-famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. His core argument was that success of any organization is based on human interaction. And the key to unlocking the secrets of social interaction are to understand the wants, needs, motivations and expectations of people. To build healthy relationships and inspire others, he advised:

•  Don’t criticize, condemn or complain

•  Give honest, sincere appreciation

•  Arouse in the other person an eager want

•  Become genuinely interested in other people

•  Smile

•  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

•  Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

•  Talk in terms of the other person’s interests

•  Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely

•  The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

•  Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

•  If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically

•  Begin in a friendly manner

•  Get the other person saying, “Yes, yes.”

•  Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

•  Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

•  Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view

•  Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires

•  Appeal to the nobler motives

•  Dramatize your ideas

•  Throw down a challenge

•  Begin with praise and honest appreciation

•  Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly

•  Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person

•  Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

•  Let the other person save face

•  Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

•  Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

•  Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

•  Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Carnegie believed that by cultivating others, anyone can create a foundation for leadership in any organization. Good leaders focus on nurturing the people they lead, identifying their strengths and encouraging growth in these traits and talents.

Much has changed since the archetypal man in the gray flannel suit could be seen, on morning commutes, perusing Carnegie’s book in the swaying train cars of the Long Island Rail Road, but the principles outlined in his timeless masterwork are still incredibly relevant today.

Offices have evolved from pneumatic tubes to microprocessors, and yet the success of any organization is still based on that one essential ingredient — effective human interaction.